I dont know where to start & I probably dont know how to say it. This is all started from the very first time we had something. Do you remember it? First time kita had something together. For the first time lelaki sentuh aku. Sentuh in the way like you do. Kau boleh faham sendiri.  I can swear like really, you're the first guy ever who i had something like this with. To be honest, i didnt felt anything extraordinary from the first time. Tak ada lah rasa pelik ke apa which mean, tak ada rasa anything different toward you. Tapi day by day, bila kita makin rapat & after we had something again & again, Im starting to felt something. Something different from bfr for sure. Tak tahu nak kata rasa apa. Tapi lain lah. Sebelum ni, tak banyak benda kau boleh buat aku rasa sakit hati. Tak ada benda pun yang kita nak argue kan. Tapi after all of this happened, benda kecik boleh jadi really big matter. I cant even hold myself for keep ignoring you for god sake. Aku mudah sangat rindu kau & that is why i keep forgiving everything that you've done. Bukan nak kata seminggu lah, 3 hari tak jumpa kau pun aku rasa allahu rindunya. Seeing you is really give me such a good healing. Im happy when im with you. Gila punya happy. As you know, youre the second after abah yang aku tunjuk manja aku, manja yang orang lain tak pernah dapat even Alif pun. Aku sebolehnya nak tunaikan apa je yang kau hajatkan. I want to be there for you. Im always trying to give the best of me for you. Wanna be pretty as i can even memang takkan cantik pun, im still trying. Sampai satu masa tu, I realized yang perasaan aku dah tak sama macam dulu dekat kau. It's different now but i cant really tells rasa tu rasa apa. I keep asking myself, is it possible for me to not feel anything toward you after we had something? Aku sendiri tak pasti. At first, aku macam ish takkan lah ada rasa apa. Youre my bloody kot. Takkan lah. Tapi entah. Ada satu hari tu, kawan aku cerita dekat aku pasal dia dng bestfriend perempuan dia. Cerita lebih kurang sama macam kita & aku cakap dekat dia, ala boleh je kan tak rasa anything, macam just have fun je & he said "pelacur pun sometimes boleh rasa something, ini kan pulak perempuan" but aku still yakinkan diri yang maybe im not like other girls sebab yela its you kot. Takkan lah. But when things getting hard & all i want is to be with you & bila aku trying to get away from you but i failed, baru aku sedar yang aku memang dah rasa something. Actually, we've changed alot doh. Seriously. How to explain eh? Seksa gila bila aku overthinking. Bila aku fikir yang i didnt mean anything dekat mana kau. Aku tak salahkan kau pun atas benda yang dah jadi tu. At first benda tak sengaja kan & after that terjadi pun aku tak salah kan kau sebab to be honest aku pun nak. Hahahahahahaha kantoi. Diam ah. So basically bukan salah kau pun either me. Benda barang jadi doh. Hahahahah diam. Bab, I didnt ask anything in return. Tak ada aku minta kau lebih lebih, minta kau being mine or anything. Aku just nak kau tahu & faham apa yang aku rasa & basically aku nak tahu yang kau rasa tak macam apa yang aku rasa? Did you feels something? Or perasaan kau sama je macam sebelum kita had something tu? Or it is just me? Aku nak tahu apa kau rasa. Can you tell me what you feel? #FriendWithBenefits4Lyfe 

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